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Do you know how to handle you restless teenager?

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Assaf Ben-David

Mentor, Entrepreneur, Lawyer, Public Speaker

This is a tough question.
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Good luck
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Answered over 4 years ago

Joy Broto

🌎Harvard Certified Global Corporate Trainer🌍

Handling a teenager depends on who is he. To understand this teenager let me begin with his biases, that he or she might have:
1. Confirmation Bias: Seeking out information that supports ideas that you already hold.
2. Conviction Bias: Believing that our ideas are more likely to be true because we have stronger emotions regarding the topic
3. Appearance Bias: People who look appealing, whether that be based on loos or wealth, are automatically a good person.
4. Group Bias: Automatically believing things that our in-groups believe.
You must however note one thing that if we all displayed our true selves, the world would be a worse place. On top of this, putting on a persona helps protect ourselves from our insecurities. It helps us feel like we already have what we want, and believing this means you will soon become that person. These insecurities spring out of the group we surround ourselves with and to prevent being dragged down by the group:
a. Retain independence and rationality regardless of what others tell you
b Develop self-awareness
c. Ensure you are concentrated in the present moment every time you’re in a group.
Let us now discuss the flaws of human nature:
1. Irrationality: Irrationality is often driven by our emotions and makes us see and look for evidence that fits our narrative. This disconnect from the world’s reality around us lead us in making a variety of bad decision. The solution to this problem is that we must recognize our biases and the triggers that lead to us making decisions based on emotions. Additionally, we must take a step back and give ourselves time to calm down before making important decisions.
2. Narcissism: It refers to us being focused on ourselves and we crave attention and approval from others. To overcome this one we must cultivate empathy from other people and avoid making snap judgements without putting yourself in the other person shoes
3. Role-playing: People are always portraying emotions that are different than they feel. We must identify how to identify people’s genuine emotions. Plus, we learn how to prevent the best version of ourselves.
4. Character: People with specific reputations or surface images. However, these reputations are never a true reflection of a person’s character.
5. Covetousness: We have to embrace our circumstances and identify clear visions for the future. It is easy for humans to think that grass is greener on the other side. Only a connection with your reality will bring you calmness and focus.
6. Short-Sightedness: We are animals, which means we are most impressed by what we see and feel. We often forget to think about the consequences of our actions or the bigger picture. However, a lack of perspective can lead to negative repercussions. To overcome this, try not to be overwhelmed by information about the future. Consider essential information so you can make decisions that will reap long-term benefits
7. Defensiveness: We are all defensive about certain things. This approach limits our creative nature. Hence, we should always be open to new ideas and thoughts. If we are given a piece of constructive criticism, we should use it as an opportunity to think differently.
8. Self-Sabotage: Humans have a habit of making their biggest fears a reality through self-sabotage. If we are fearful about, we will see the negative in everything. This will unconsciously impact on our decisions and lead to self-sabotage. To avoid this, try and develop an expansive attitude where you see yourself as an explorer
9. Repression: We all repress our insecurities, aggression, and selfish impulses, you can learn to control this dark side of yourself and prevent it from leaking out. Identify and accept your tendency to project emotions or bad qualities onto people that you know.
10. Envy: Humans naturally compare themselves with others. However, envy is not socially acceptable. We must notice our envy before it becomes dangerous. Envy is natural, and this means we cannot completely eradicate it. However, we can turn it into something more positive. Turn envy into emulation: use your envy to motivate yourself to improve.
11. Grandiosity: Extreme grandiosity can mean we lose the concept of reality. You can identify grandiosity in yourself or others by observing behaviours like overstated certainty of success, excessive touchiness when criticized, and disdain for authority. We can turn our grandiosity into practical grandiosity. Practical grandiosity involves channelling our energy into problem-solving and improving relationship
12. Gender rigidity: There are strengths of feminine and masculine characteristics for different circumstances. Therefore, we should try and make use of both our masculine and feminine sides.
13. Aimlessness: We are pulled in many directions by our emotions and the opinions of others. This can lead to lack of direction in our lives. Some people love change, while others are frightened by chaos. However, we should all develop a sense of purpose and use it to flourish throughout our lives, irrespective of change.
14. Conformity: We all want to fit in. However, this can lead to us behaving in ways we do not necessarily agree with. To overcome this, we have to develop a sense of self-awareness
15. Fickleness: We all look to follow powerful people. However, this means that we tend to turn our backs on people as soon as they become weak. Therefore, to lead effectively, we must give off a feeling of power, legitimacy and fairness. Doing this will help people to trust you more.
16. Aggression: We all have stressors and frustrations in our daily lives. Occasionally these can become too much, and we display aggressive behaviours. We have to learn the signs that indicate aggressive individuals. There are a few ways to overcome aggression. Firstly, you can mirror their behaviour. Alternatively, if the individual is consistently aggressive towards you, it is sometimes better to separate yourself from the person.
17. Generational Blindness: Generations always want to separate themselves from the generation before them. Each new generation wants to change the world. Try and be more aware of the common features that you share with other generations. Plus, try and think about things from other generations’ perspective
18. We try to avoid thinking about death. However, we should be thining about death. Awareness of our morality gives our life goals a greater purpose.
The teenager might be suffering from the above problems and you need to figure out which one it is. Before taking any decision do keep these five laws of human nature in mind.
1. Parkinson’s law: Why is there always so much work to do? Anyone searching for an explanation might find one in Parkinson’s law. Civil servant, historian and theorist Cyril Northcote Parkinson suggested in a 1955 article that work expands to fill the time available for its completion – backed up with statistical evidence drawn from his historical research. More recent mathematical analyses have lent support to the idea. Parkinson also came up with the “law of triviality“, which states that the amount of time an organisation spends discussing an issue is inversely proportional to its importance. He argued that nobody dares to expound on important issues in case they’re wrong – but everyone is happy to opine at length about the trivial. This in turn may be a result of Sayre’s law, which states that in any dispute, the intensity of feeling is inversely proportional to the value of the stakes at issue. Parkinson also proposed a coefficient of inefficiency, which attempts to define the maximum size a committee can reach before it becomes unable to make decisions. His suggestion that it lay “somewhere 19.9 and 22.4” has stood the test of time: more recent research suggests that committees cannot include many more than 20 members before becoming utterly hapless.
2. Student syndrome: “If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.” So said an anonymous wit, and none but the most ferociously well-organised can disagree. In fact, procrastination is a major problem for some people, especially those who are easily distracted or are uncertain of their ability to complete a task. One of the most well-known examples of vigorous procrastination is student syndrome. As anyone who has ever been (or known) a student will know, it is standard practice to apply yourself to a task only at the last possible moment before the deadline. Student syndrome is so common that some experts in project management recommend not assigning long periods of time to particular tasks, because the people who are supposed to do them will simply wait until just before the deadline to start work, and the project will overrun anyway (International Journal of Project Management). Some of the blame for student syndrome may be laid at the feet of the planning fallacy: the tendency for people to underestimate how long it will take to do something. If you often get caught out by how long things take, we recommend considering Hofstadter’s law, coined by the cognitive scientist Douglas Hofstadter: “It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter’s law.”
3. Pareto principle: The rich have a lot more money than you. That might sound like a statement of the obvious, but you may be surprised by just how much richer than you they are. In fact, in most countries 80 per cent of the wealth is owned by just 20 per cent of the population. This was first spotted by the economist Vilfredo Pareto in the early 20th century, and it seems to be a universal rule in societies – although the precise nature of the distribution has been revised over the years. But the Pareto principle is not just about money. For most systems, 80 per cent of events are triggered by just 20 per cent of the causes. For instance, 20 per cent of the users of a popular science website are responsible for 80 per cent of the page clicks. Businesses often use the Pareto principle as a rule of thumb, for instance deciding to do the most important 20 per cent of a job in order to get 80 per cent of the reward.
4. Salem hypothesis: First proposed by Bruce Salem on the discussion site Usenet, the Salem hypothesis claims that “an education in the engineering disciplines forms a predisposition to [creationist] viewpoints”. This was rephrased somewhat by P. Z. Myers as “creationists with advanced degrees are often engineers”. Is there any evidence to back this up, or is it just a gratuitous slander against engineers? A 1982 article in the Proceedings of the Iowa Academy of Science suggested that many leading creationists trained as engineers, notably Henry Morris, one of the authors of the key creationist book The Genesis Flood. But the article did not present any figures. More recently, Diego Gambetta and Steffen Hertog have noted a preponderance of engineers among Islamic extremist groups. They suggested that engineers may be at greater risk of being recruited by such groups than other graduates. Obviously creationism is not the same thing as violent activism, but Gambetta and Hertog’s analysis may be useful nevertheless because they discuss the engineering mindset in some detail. They show, for instance, that engineers are more likely to be religious than other graduates. None of this is anywhere near enough to prove the Salem hypothesis, but it does provide some intriguing circumstantial evidence.
5. Maes-Garreau law: Everyone loves predicting the future, and some make a career out of it. These futurists often present detailed, authoritative claims about what is going to happen, though their success rate is not always exemplary. A common theme in futurist predictions is that revolutionary technology of one sort or another is just around the corner, and that this technology will allow people to live forever. This can mean physical immortality or some more abstracted technique like downloading one’s personality into a computer. The “singularity”, which Ray Kurzweil says will arrive “by 2045 or thereabouts”, is a prime example. And thus, we come to the Maes-Garreau law, which states that any such prediction about a favourable future technology will fall just within the expected lifespan of the person making it. Pattie Maes, a researcher at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, observed in the late 1980s that many of her male colleagues were interested in these ideas, and tabulated when they expected the miracle technology to arrive. Sure enough, she found that the dates they predicted for the singularity were always on or around their 70th birthdays. She mentioned her findings in a talk but did not write them up. Subsequently, the journalist Joel Garreau made similar observations in his book Radical Evolution, which looked at the implications of such “transhumanist” ideas. The Maes-Garreau law was finally coined, and given its name, by Wired editor Kevin Kelly. Kelly informally repeated Maes’s analysis, confirming her findings. He then defined the “Maes-Garreau point” as the latest possible date a prediction can come true and remain in the lifetime of the person making it.

Besides if you do have any questions give me a call: https://clarity.fm/joy-brotonath

Answered over 4 years ago